As a plus size woman, my weight has always been at the center of my insecurity/confidence dance. Going from insecure anonymous blogger to the career I have now is a reflection of how Body Positivity changed my life for the better. The Body Positive and Fat Acceptance movements are a huge part of my confidence journey. My body positive mindset is here to stay.
At the same time, I’ve got bad knees.
In 2020 I had knee surgery to repair a torn lateral meniscus. As part of my body positive practice, I’ve been researching ways to be more kind and supportive to my knees. I came across something that really caught my attention: Studies show that losing one pound takes four pounds of pressure off of your knees.
I’ve given it a lot of thought and I want to take some pressure off of my knees.
This isn’t about getting smaller, I’m very happy in my size 18 jeans.
This is about mobility and joyful movement— bike rides, long walks, dancing and walking up the stairs with ease after Liberty games and Nets games.
It’s no secret that I’ve gone from a size 28 to a size 18 over the last 6+ years.
The fact is, I’ve received negative and hurtful comments about my weight loss along the way. At the same time, I get many private messages from you dolls wanting me to talk about weight loss. I want to be helpful, but I also want to protect my heart. So, recently I decided to let you dolls vote on what you wanted. I did a poll and the results surprised me– 91% of you said that you’d like me to open up about body positive weight loss.
Yes– I admit it. I am making an intentional choice to lose weight. The amount of weight I lose will likely be noticeable so when it comes to you dolls, I want to do it differently this time– I don’t want you to wonder why I feel the need to lose weight. I don’t want you to wonder how I’m doing it. I want to tell you about it. I don’t want to hide. I want to share my process so that we can explore what it looks like to lose weight from a place of body positivity and self love.
I’ve decided to put most of my body positive weight loss content here on my blog. This way, my dolls who don’t want to see weight loss content can simply not click on these links. For my dolls who do want a glimpse inside my body positive weight loss story… let’s begin today.
Here’s how I get started:
The Four Steps to Building Self Confidence
In my Tedx talk, how to build self confidence, I talk about the four steps to building confidence. I now believe that there are five steps. The first step is to ask yourself “What do you want?”. If you find it challenging to answer that question, you’re not alone. Something I find helpful is to identify something specific– like something you might put on a vision board (ie crossing the stage at graduation, standing at the top of a mountain after a hike, saying your vows, things like that.) That becomes your goal or the thing you want. I prefer to call it a North Star.
Now that you have identified your North Star, you can move on to the next Four Steps to Building confidence, which are:
Step One: Your perceived obstacle – what do you feel is standing between you and your North Star?
Step Two: Imagine what your life would look like if that obstacle disappeared – If your perceived obstacle wasn’t there, what would that look like for you?
Step Three: Make a plan to address your perceived obstacle – how can you work with or eliminate your perceived obstacle?
Step Four: Choose to live the life you imagined, right away – what can you start doing now that reflects the life you imagined?
If you’d like to dig a little deeper into my confidence methods, you can watch my Tedx talk “How to Build Self Confidence” right here below.
Let’s continue with my body positive weight loss process. As I said, shifting my mindset toward the task ahead is key, so I am using my four steps to building confidence.
What is Your North Star?
There are two big hikes that I want to do in my life (the devil’s pool in Zambia and the path to the Gods in Positano Italy).
Step One: Identify your perceived obstacle
The way my knees are set up, I am not confident about the climb. So, my perceived obstacle is my knees. I have bad knees.
Step Two: Imagine what your life would look like if that obstacle disappeared
I can see myself at the top of the devils pool, jumping in and laughing. I can see myself at the top of the path to the gods, taking in the view with the sun on my face.
Step Three: Make a plan to address your perceived obstacle
My plan is to lose 30 pounds slowly over three years with a combination of my spiritual practice, mental health work, supportive foods and joyful movement. This is the equivalent of taking 120 pounds off of my knees.
Step Four: Choose to live the life you imagined, right away
I think it’s fun to treat the next three years as a training for my two big hikes! So, I will create recipes, rituals and routines to support feeling strong. One of the easiest routines for me to create is a fitness routine, so I’m going to start there. I found some really fun body positive workout videos that I think you’re going to love.
I’ll share more on that in my next post!
Thank you for reading– please let me know what you think in the comments.