Hello there sweeties!
I have an ad. I changed my website name from Blessing Manifesting to Self-Love Rainbow! I created Blessing Manifesting 11 years ago And the name was from the lyrics to a song that really helped me when I was feeling depressed and feeling suicidal. I started as a personal blog documenting my mental health journey while sharing some love and positivity, and here we are after more than a decade and I’m a completely different person. I felt it was time for a change. I wanted something cheesy, light, fun, and colorful, the Self-Love Rainbow came to me and I instantly loved it. And that’s the basis of everything I create, isn’t it? self love. I feel like. It feels like home. (But if it’s not a decade from now, that’s okay too)
It also relates to my word for the year 2022.
Here is a brief TL; Dr Your word of the year replaces your New Year’s resolution. It is a word that embodies what you want to be/think/feel/do. Something you can implement in a few ways throughout your life rather than a concrete goal that includes either failure or success like a New Year’s Resolution. It is a 365 day theme guide. (These are my past “words”) You can also get files My little guide to the word of the year To help you out with your own!
My word for 2021 was ‘pause’. This is what I wrote in December of last year.
“My current life was non-stop. I work 40 hours a week in retail and this was bananas [because of the pandemic]. But there was also a blessing statement. Most days, I work 14 hours, split between Blessing Manifesting and my job in retail. On my “days off” from my retail job, I usually work on Blessing Manifesting from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed.
I want to take a moment to spend time on the things that drain me.
Pause to enjoy the moment.
Pause for other non-productivity needs.”
And that word certainly came up in a number of ways — the biggest of all — I left my retail business. I still work a lot but this year has also been filled with days spent by the lake in the sun, road trips, and evenings spent in bed watching drama. I have actually been able to relax for what I feel for the first time in my adult life.
I’ve also found out a lot about myself now time.
My word for this year is “Inception”.
There are many reasons why this word fits where I am now. Moving away from retail has had a huge impact on me and how I see myself. I worked the same job at the same place for about 17 years. Most of the time I loved him. I still miss him, but I had no idea how completely drained he was on every level until I walked away from him.
The biggest change was in my social anxiety. Having to wear a “retail fit” mask and then maintain that for 9 hours a day for 17 years was more stressful than I realized. It was interesting to see how I thrived socially. I’m sending a message to people first! I love to have conversations! And I have more space to respond and interact with people online. Having the space to not “people” made me enjoy “people” so much more.
I also became my brother’s guardian, and that shook my foundation. I never wanted to have children because I went through a lot of trauma about being forced into caring roles. I couldn’t imagine being in charge of another human being and the amazing thing is that it was so cool. He is happy, I am happy, my partner is so loving and supportive, we have our own little family. There are challenges (I naturally freak out when he first catches a cold, right? Parents!) But overall it was great.
I am exploring my foundations.
For those of you who’ve been with me for a while, I’ve talked about not knowing my biological father and how it felt like I never got along with my family because I was racially biased. Many people assumed that I adopted whether or not I had anything to do with my mom or siblings, and from a very young age, I felt overly aware of it. In a few weeks I’ll have 23 & Me results and am so excited to see how they make a bigger picture from where I come from.
When I was coming out with my word – the other contenders were “genuine”, “reset” and “biased”. I just feel like I’m exploring what it really means to be (40 years old!) a Dominee. I have time to rest and explore (and rebuild) the foundations of what my life (and work) looks like now. It’s exciting.
Who I was when I was 25 and started this site is not who I am now because I am approaching 40. I look forward to my new meeting and thanks for being with me on the trip.